Law and Order Means "We Locking Niggas Up"... How to Survive Sessions

Donald Trump, the Pussy Grabber in Chief has chosen Jeff Sessions to be the new Attorney General of the good ole US of A. Last night Sessions was narrowly confirmed by the senate. This is bad news for America... and like all things that tend to be problematic in the United States, this new administrative addition will most certainly prove even more troublesome for the Black community. Simply put, Jeff Sessions is an old school bigot. He's not one for passive and closeted racism, he just flat out votes "no" on measures that favor people of color, gays and women. In a nutshell, Sessions is touting the Nixon era dog whistle bigotry that is " law and order". Hopefully you have sat through Ava DuVernay's "13th" so you know exactly what that means. If you haven't seen this amazing documentary, just know that a white man vehemently and repetitiously uttering "law and order" pretty much means " I'M LOCKING NIGGAS UP". We all know that the industrial prison complex that literally profits from the privatization of incarceration is mostly fueled by black and brown detention but let me try to quickly explain the workings of such a system.

Mass Incarceration for Dummies: If you start a business then you must have workers. By privatizing prisons and running them for profit, having prisoners to fill them and charging the state for their occupation is the key objective. These prisons need more prisoners so they lock people up for even the smallest of crimes and for unjustly long sentences. This is where people like Jeff Sessions come into play. By advocating law and order, you can rest assured that the new Attorney General will be moving for harsher sentences, increased surveillance of minority communities and most likely a new " war on drugs". The increased incarceration of black men will put further strain on our community, splinter more families and ultimately keep the privatized prison giants churning on for at least the next four years. If you sell dope or run scams for a living it would be ideal for you to take a break but if you can't leave the streets alone for the next four years, here are a few tips to consider.

A Hooder and Quicker Breakdown: I want to make sure this is very clear. Prison in America is big business and while the authorities will lock anyone up, they would rather fill these institutions with niggas. An even simpler breakdown goes like this: state prisons become overcrowded so white guy goes to the state and says hey, I'll take some of those niggas and put them in my prison and you can pay me $10,000 a week for it. State prison says fine. White guy's prison gets full so he opens another and another until he has prisons all over the place, making money off Daquan and Cortezio because they want to be like Kodak Black and shoot Dracos ( or whatever rapper it is that y'all want to be like these days). White guy has become a billionaire from the state paying him rent for housing these black criminals and he's getting even richer by having the niggas in his prisons make furniture for Walmart and tires for Goodyear. The more laws passed that encourage locking niggas up, the more rent the white guy gets paid by the state. So what does the white guy do? He sends lawyers and legislators to pass more laws that will lock niggas up to make sure he has a steady flow of prisoners.

Jeff Session's role is to be the enforcer of this industrial prison complex bullshit. There is a problem though. With so many African-Americans obtaining college degrees, starting businesses and gaining key credentials as well as white america facing a devastating herion/opiod crisis much of the demographics of prisons are changing. We can most likely expect Jeff Sessions to curb sentences for drug offences for white addicts and come down harder on crimes associated with the distribution of narcotics instead. Here is what you can do:

1. Be Aware!
Just by knowing that prison in America is big business you are one step ahead and already mindful of the notion that business people ( even Michael Jordan) are waiting for you to do some dumb shit so they can profit from your incarceration.

2. Stop Flexing
If you are into some janky shit at least keep a low profile. Jeff Sessions has fought for less transparency when it comes to domestic surveillance by pushing for extensive phone wire tapping.

3. Keep Your Phone Charged:
With the imminent threat of more police interaction be prepared to document all exchanges with law enforcement. Nothing makes an officer more prone to stick to the rules than a cellphone in their face. Remain calm and well-mannered ( even if you do not want to) when interacting with these officers because as we know they can and will exercise deadly force for the slightest of reasons.

4. Contact The ACLU:
The ACLU has thus far done an excellent job of being vigilant and helping citizens maintain their rights. Reach out to them for council on any questions you have regarding your interaction with the police and unjust treatment.

5. Be Careful:
This is a man who has done more to make flag burning illegal than protecting women against domestic violence. This guy is pretty fucking sick. He doesn't believe gay people should be protected against hate crimes. He thinks affirmative action is unnecessary. Coretta Scott King wrote an entire letter on why he shouldn't be confirmed to the senate way back in 1986! If you have a son who likes to do stupid shit, its time to make sure he is home by 8:00 PM. Put him in some activities, move to a better neighborhood if you can. Whatever it takes to remove yourself and your loved ones from the perspective settings that would place you guys in the cross-hairs of this man's agenda must be done.

5 Things Black Parents Can Do To Survive DeVos

As you may know by now, Betsy DeVos has been confirmed as the newly appointed Secretary of Education and if you're a parent... its time to get down to business. In a nutshell, this woman is a billionaire who believes that the education system in America is the perfect domain for expanding "God's Kingdom". She and her family have used their wealth to donate millions upon millions of dollars to the republicans over the years and views her nomination for secretary of education as a reward for her previous "generosity". DeVos pretty much knows nothing about education and has never really done any... well, educating. Simply put, if she has her way the children of this country will be simple-minded, docile, little lambs who don't question authority and regurgitate religious fodder to justify climate-change, social issues and anything else where telling the truth would be more arduous. This should be alarming for all parents but totally frightening for the parents of black children. Think of the precious ground that we are just now making up as a people, especially when it comes to de-programming and un-learning the bullshit that the American school system has fed to our children over the years. Under Betsy DeVos you can most likely expect your black child to be learning that slaves were immigrants, Native Americans wanted to share their land, praying the gay away is a must, Queen Cleopatra really did look like Elizabeth Taylor and that there is no such thing as global warming " ice melts, that is just what it does".

There are five key things that can be done to counter this upcoming scholastic shitstorm and they go a little something like this:

1. Be Vigilant:
At a time like this, you should literally be at the table with your black children as much as possible while they're studying, completing assignments and doing homework. If you see a question, statement or assignment that you take issue with, write the teacher an e-mail or attach a note to the assignment stating your grievance about the prospective problematic elements of the coursework. For example, if you see your kids doing a fucking slavery math problem, don't roll your eyes and continue watching Love and Hip Hop New York. Go down to the school and raise some hell about it. Every once in a while ( once a week) you should be skimming through your children's textbooks and countering anything that seems inaccurate. For example, if a textbook is telling your children that " African Americans first came to the United States on the Soul Train Cruise Liner in 1923 sipping red Koolaid and humming hymns" I'm gonna need for you to challenge that shit and tell your kids the truth. When they try to indoctrinate your little ones with messages of " peaceful protest" and "patriotism" it is vital that you give them the realistic pros and cons of such rhetoric and relay the real challenges that African Americans face that often exclude us from indulging in such pleasantries.

2. Seriously Consider Homeschooling your child:

This is not for the lazy parent. You know the type. " Why is my child flunking the fourth grade, Mrs. Green you ain't shit" type of parents need not try this. If your the accountable type with enough time to devote to homeschooling, this would be a great option for young black children. You can teach them that God is black and that based on scientific fact, the notion that HIV just arose magically and killed millions of Africans without human interference is something that is highly unlikely. After a certain amount of proficiency has been achieved it would be ideal to have your black child take the GED exam and enroll in a local community college. Your young kings and queens will be years ahead of their counterparts as well as mentally free! If homeschooling isn't conducive with your schedule, draft a serious curriculum of things you want your black child to know, that you can be certain won't be taught at school, devote several hours per weekend to this material and get it done.

3. Turn off the Motherfucking TV!

This should be absolutely obvious but there are plenty of parents who let the television babysit their kids. If they are watching television it should be something stimulating and conversation provoking. I rather you let your children watch The Wire and explain to them the crack era, the war on drugs and the poverty cycle as opposed to watching Empire any day. If they must watch music videos, show them reggae videos with positive messages or Afrobeat videos from Nigeria and Ghana ( they tend to show beautiful black women in positive scenarios and African wealth via stunting lol)

4. Turn off the Motherfucking Radio!

The radio, the auxiliary cord, the YouTube, whatever the hell your black child is ingesting they will be reflecting ( hey that rhymes a little bit) in their personality, demeanor and sentiments. Play your kids some Miles Davis, let them see footage of a live Funkadelic concert from 1978 and if you must let them listen to 2chainz explain to them what parts of the songs are lies ( tell them how he is like forty with a wife and children who don't even drink soda nonetheless take drugs and party with big booty bitches). When I was a kid my mother would let us watch music videos but she would explain to us ( in a non-preachy way) that the cars were rented, the cash was a prop, and even the vixens were paid to be there. Giving your children a sense of reality when it comes to entertainment is key to countering their belief in pop-culture. Your 12 year old is a Beyonce fan? Let her watch some of the behind the scenes footage of Beyonce working her ass off so she can know that copying her " diva" attitude won't get her that 400 million dollar net worth but that dedication and meticulousness will. 

5. Tell them the truth!

This is paramount. At all costs we must tell these black children the truth. No matter how badly you want to believe in a perfect and just world you have to equip your black child with the mindset that to be Black in America is to constantly have to compete. Don't let them quit the summer baseball team because its too hot at their games. Make them finish the season and spark accountability and endurance at an early age. Let them know that having a college degree will not be a panacea for all of life's troubles but being a rapper and listing "NFL player" as their backup is highly unlikely. Teach them the ins and outs of the stock market and that white men in suites have a huge impact on their lives. Let them know that there is a huge prison industry that will profit from their mishaps if they choose to go the wrong way. Whatever it is, tell them the truth. About McDonald's, Sandra Bland, drones, white America's heroin epidemic and why this orange little fucker is President now. 

Executive Decimation and The Blood On Trump's Lil Hands

Were only two weeks in folks. Two fucking weeks. Fourteen days of Don-Don in office and already he has a significant amount of blood on his hands. Donnie recently implemented his Muslim Ban and has decided to undermine the visas of individuals originating from seven Muslim majority countries. Not only is The Donald's hateful policy racist and bigoted, it is undeniably dangerous. The nonsensical and abrupt executive order left countless, already vetted brown people scattering to make it back to the states before being shutout indefinitely. Not only did this ban blatantly target those of Middle-Eastern descent based on religion, it spread the implication that those already living in the states and other areas of North America were unwanted and defacto enemies. This unprecedented state-sponsored singling out of the Arab demographic unabashedly puts forth the notion that these people are unwanted and unworthy of domicile in the USA. This most certainly has translated to the targeting of brown people all over North America and left them feeling unprotected and vulnerable. Donald Trump's executive order has proven deadly and the following instances should be placed upon his conscious:

1.

The above pictured white supremacist and terrorist gunned down nine innocent worshipers in a Quebec Mosque. Given the geographic proximity as well as the temporal nearness of this horrid act to Donnie's Muslim Ban, this hateful occurrence most certainly should be blamed on Donald Trump.  Given his well-documented statements on the subject, it would seem favorable for the families of these victims to file suite against the Pussy Grabber in Chief for the murder of their loved ones. 

2. Texas Mosque Burning

According to The Texas Tribune, Two Texas Mosques burned to the ground this month. If you think these type of hate-crimes are coincidental and share no semblance with Trump's anti- Muslim rhetoric... you probably use terms like " all lives matter" and "meninism". 

3. 10 Women and Children Killed in Yemeni Raid ( Courtesy of Al Jazeera):

Donald and his cabinet of ducks authorized the first US raid of Yemen and it was quite the opposite of a success. An American service person lost their life and among 14 reported "terrorists" killed, 10 women and children were also murdered.

4. Louvre Attack in Paris

A machete wielding man attempted to attack patrons of the Louvre in Paris. He was gunned down before he could harm anyone. He was reportedly heard shouting " God is Greatest" in Arabic, a tell-tale sign of Muslim faith. I blame Donald and his attempted decimation of brown people who happen to be practitioners of Islam via executive order for this individual's death. This instance is extremely reflective of why such hateful rhetoric makes not only America less safe, but also puts people of the world in harms way.  Basic knowledge regarding the psychology of extremism will afford one the knowledge to know that further alienating an already careworn demographic could cause someone to go off the deep end. 

Until the next episode executive order.....

Thank A White Man, The Implications of Mike Pence's BHM Tweet

No my friend. Your eyes have not deceived you. Mike Pence began Black History Month by giving a shout out to a white man ( some debate Lincoln's ancestry on his mother's side but that's for my Hidden Colors crowd to debate). This seemingly simple tweet speaks volumes on race relations and just as much for the Trumpian outlook on the celebration of Black history and  African- American accomplishment. By intentionally highlighting the actions of whites that were involved with Black history, Pence has chosen to willfully undermine the achievement and self-sufficiency of Black progress in America. He is basically asserting that " without Abe Lincoln, a white man, you niggas would still be picking cotton and making pig parts edible for your sustenance". Pence's tweet gives further insight into a series of long-neglected implications that need to be addressed.

1. We Have The White Man to Thank For Our " Freedom":
Thanking white people for our freedom from the brutal bondage of chattel slavery would have been like Tina thanking Ike for only open-hand pimp slapping her when he could have two-pieced her. Thanking white people for our freedom from centuries of forced-incest, mandatory illiteracy and putting us through utter hell would be like thanking a literary agent for not stealing your transcript. The point being, these things should never happen thus thanking the blameworthy actors of such atrocities is absurd to say the least.

2. You Niggas are Free Now... Things Could be Much Worse:
 Pence's tweet serves as an intentional reminder that African Americans today have grievances that in comparison to slavery are mild. At least from the perspective of a bigoted and privileged white male. Think of the times when you tell your friends about what your stressing over and they try calm you down by reminding you of the things you have already went through. " Remember when you got caught stealing boxes on your day off?... if you bounced back from that then this lil DUI ain't gone stop nothing".  That is basically what Pence is putting forth. A closeted and diplomatically-framed " get over it" to current black complaints of injustice.

3.  Comparative Undermining:
Whenever the unsolicited and unprovoked utterance of slavery is brought up by non-blacks it is generally to serve as some comparative undermining of current mistreatment. Upset about failing urban schools and under-funding in predominately black districts? "Never forget, You could have been a slave, your ancestors would have wept tears of joy at such an opportunity". Pissed about mandatory minimum sentences that mostly effect non-violent black offenders? " You could have been a slave, at least your free to go after serving your sentence". The only comparative jab that is thrown more frequently than the slavery card is the " you could have been in Africa... do you see how bad it is there?" quip.

" Don't worry about police brutality... your black ass could have been picking 500 pounds of cotton"

Pence's tweet fit the 140 character constraints of the popular Twitter application but spoke volumes in regards of what to expect from the current administration. A lack of sanctity for even the most well-established of causes and the reminder that without white men we wouldn't be shit. 

The Blackest Breakdown of Trump's First Week Featuring MC Debra GIFs

Donnie's election as POTUS serves as an affront to the millions of individuals who identify as minority. Whether a member of the LGBTQ community, Jewish, Black, Latino, Immigrant, Muslim, or the white friend of any of these demographics, this administration's presence and actions are alarming and disheartening to say the least. Don-Don's cabinet serves up a cold brand of legislative homophobia: touting North Carolina's "bathroom bill" ( HB2) and proposing implementation of a "First Amendment Defense Act" which would essentially allow racists and bigots to call disparate groups whatever they please. As a celebration of the LGBTQ community and a swift fuck you to Don-Don and his homophobic minions, I have put together a compilation of moments, with MC Debra, a trans icon with epic antics and one of my personal favorite online personas. Special thanks to the Human Rights Campaign article entitled, Donald Trump: Opposes Nationwide Marriage Equality for the facts in this introduction, Ain't no Monica Crowley over here bih ( we believe in citations) .

1. The Women's March

Chile! White women really tried to come and step right in front of the cause because they finally felt threatened by The Donald. Despite women of color protesting, marching and raising hell for years about pertinent causes, our white sisters just couldn't take it no more and showed up in full force all over the country to protest the Pussy Grabber in Chief. Baby... those white women were furious! They had their little signs and off-beat call and response. It was cute, but like much of the resistance that has been doing this shit for years ( in my Khadeedra Cuvosier voice), I couldn't help but feel a bit amused and annoyed by the impetus of their tipping point. When they killed Trayvon, white women didn't take to the streets ( some but not many). When Sandra Bland died for having an attitude and smoking a cigarette in HER car, I didn't see many white women speaking out. But when Donnie called Hillary a nasty woman and threatened to take away abortions all hell broke loose. Madonna literally didn't give no fucks on TV and threatened to blow up the White House, Meryl Streep went off at the Golden Globes and the resistance "began" all over the place. I'm not going to be petty because no matter how late they are to the party ( Formation 2016 vs Erykah Badu since like forever ago, no shade) I am happy to have them and appreciate their voices.

2. Mexico was like " we not paying for shit"

The Donald has insisted that he is going to build this big fabulous southern border wall to keep our Mexican brothers and sisters out of the country ( that for the most part belonged to them, look at an old map of the US). As if that wasn't scandalous enough, he has insisted that they will pay for said wall. Now I don't know about y'all but I used to watch the Wire on HBO and this sounds like something that Omar, better yet Snoop and Chris would demand from their enemies on some real thug shit rather than a diplomat elected to be the head of the " free world".  

Snoop in husky Baltimore accent: What you gone due (do) is front us 30 kilos

Enemy: I can get it from my connect, just let me live!

Chris: And you gone pay for it...

Enemy: I don't have that kind of cash!

Snoop: Better make somethin' happen nigga

3. Kellyanne Conway stepped out with that tragic ass coat and then had the nerve to defend LIES from the press secretary Sean Spicer by calling them Alternative Facts. She may not be able to actually see our reactions, but she knows that's bullshit.

4. China is not feeling Trump, they saw his meeting with Taiwan and raised him a G check

Trump has basically stepped in and totally disregarded the One China system by talking with Taiwan. Long story short, China is Pimp Snooky ( look him up) and Taiwan is Mika. Nobody talks to Mika without going through Pimp Snooky. Trump has worsened the situation by tweeting about the situation ( even before the inauguration) and China has responded by seizing a sovereign underwater vessel that belongs to the USA in a symbolic move that essentially says " whats up then?". On top of that, one of China's military officials has said that " war with US under Donald Trump is becoming a practical reality". 

5. California is trying to take they good weed, good "sanctuary" and good gun reform talents elsewhere by seceding

For the sake of sparing verbiage, I will just sum this one up quickly. The Californians are contemplating removing themselves from the Federal Union and becoming independent in response to Don Don's election as president. Although it sounds like a good idea it may leave the rest of the country stuck with two terms of Donnie's bullshit. You see without California, Democrats would be short millions of the popular vote ( which would be nightmarish if this country got rid of the electoral college) but would on the other hand also fuck the rest of us over if they kept the electoral college due to California's significant point value in the electoral college. In our best Jodeci voice.... Stay!

Shout out to MC Debra and BallRoomThrowBacksTV for the GIFS and being awesome

Talking In Code: The Closeted Racist Terminology of Trumpians - 3 Terms to Look For

Its no secret that Donald Trump's supporters are some of the most hateful, backwards and asinine people. Just a quick stroll through the rough streets of Twitter can quickly confirm their knack for vitriolic and hateful rhetoric but thanks to Twitter's new policies regarding harassment and hate speech, blatantly racist terms such as " nigger" aren't used as readily as in the past. Given the aforementioned crackdown, Trump's proud deplorables have started to use a coded lingo in order to get their abhorrent messages across. Behold, a short list of dialect that is not to be readily dismissed as innocent banter.

1. Dindu
This is the Trumpian synonym for " nigger". At first glance I mistook this word for some sort of abbreviation or even as mention of an exotic dish of some sort. Boy was I wrong. Dindu is a play on words that insults Afro-American vernacular. Dindu attempts to replace the two words " didn't do". This term is often accompanied by the word " nuffin" as to say " dindu nuffin" or " didn't do nothing". The context of this slanderous term is often accompanied by some news article relating to a black person who has commited a crime. For example, " look at this Dindu, bet he's innocent like the rest of the Black Lives Matter crowd". And surely you will find a link to an article that details some sickening or heinous crime commited by a black male.

This closeted slur implies that Afro-Americans are surely always guilty of commiting crimes and when prosecuted, often plead that we "dindu nuffin". If you here someone in your school, or workplace or perhaps in an establishment you may be frequenting using the term " dindu" most likely if your black... they're talking shit about you.

2. Nig Nog

This term is a bit more obvious than dindu but is just as offensive. The term nig nog has a cutesy feel to it and I can imagine some racist asshole defending his use of the word. The following scenario would most likely play out:

Racist Asshole: "Calm down nig nog, Trump's gonna build that wall."
Black Person: "WTF did you just call me?"
Racist Asshole: "Dude, its not that serious, nig nog is not the same as the n-word. A nig nog can be anything.... why do you people resort to the race-card for everything. "

- We agree Craig, we totally agree

3. Cuck
This one is for the white folks. No seriously, racist Trump deplorables love to insult allies of the Black Lives Matter movement or those sympathetic to the grievances of POC  by using this term quite often. A simple Twitter search confirms its use. This term is used to dismiss non-racist whites (they do exist) in the most disrespectful manner. This simple four-letter word intertwines sexual violence, misogyny and the dangerous erotic villianization of black men at the same damn time!

A cuckold by definition stems from the cuckoo bird laying its eggs in the nest of other birds. By the time the 16th century rolled around, the term cuckold came to allude to a man married to an adulteress. Fast-forward to modern times and the term basically refers to a genre of porn that consists of  white men having their wives banged out in the most disrespectful nature right in from of them. The guys doing the banging of the wife are almost always black men with huge members. One contributor to the online forum, bodybuilding.com, describes the genre as a "compounding result of feminism and female equality, emasculation of men in Western society and white guilt". Racists on Twitter have decided to shorten the term to simply, " cuck", and they throw it around mercilessly. To call a white male who sympathizes with the plight of Afro-Americans a "cuck" is to basically say " hey, don't feel bad for Tyrone, let the police kill him, if not he'll be reclining in your LazyBoy all in your wife's guts while you watch". The term puts forth the age old false notion that black men crave white women and puts the white woman in the position of the ultimate damsel with no control over who engages in sex with her and a mere object to be defiled in order to show male dominance.

There you have it, a short field manual for navigating Trump's America, where closeted insults and slurs fly under the radar.

Donnie and Hitler Part 1- Women

This post serves as the kickoff of a series of posts regarding comparisons of Donald Trump and Adolf Hitler. After participating in the Women's March, I thought, what better topic to explore than women? After seeing a particular Melania Trump GIF go viral, I seriously contemplated making this post about Trump's similarities to Ike Turner ( still might). Here it goes, a comparison in quotations.

Hitler: The program of our National Socialist Women's Movement has only one point; that point is called the child.
-- Nurnberg Speech (September 8, 1934)

Donnie T: By re-implementing the Global Gag Rule, Donnie has essentially asserted via policy that the woman's role is to care for children. By prohibiting the funding of international healthcare programs who utilize abortion, The Donald is essentially holding the uteri of women all over the world hostage in an effort to concert a forced alignment of logic concerning the issue of abortion. By denying the funding of all sorts of programs based on the contingency of whether or not  these programs implement even the discussion of abortion as a apart of whatever purpose they may serve, he is essentially shoving the " duty" of motherhood down the throats of millions, which at its root keeps the woman in the workplace and forces her to focus on childbearing and rearing rather than occupational endeavors. 

Hitler: A man should be able to leave his stamp on a girl. It's what women like.

The Donald: If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her."

— During an episode of The View in March 2006

Hitler: A man's world is big compared with a woman's. ... The man is all her world. Only occasionally does she think of anything else .... A woman’s love is deeper than a man's. Her intellect is of no great consequence.

Donnie: “I would never buy Ivana any decent jewels or pictures. Why give her negotiable assets?” 

Hitler: When a woman starts thinking about the problems of existence that's bad ... it is apt to get on one's nerves.

Don Don: "I think that putting a wife to work is a very dangerous thing. If you’re in business for yourself, I really think it’s a bad idea. I think that was the single greatest cause of what happened to my marriage with Ivana."

— During an interview with ABC News in 1994

And there you have it.... Donald and Hitler on women, a comparison of quotations part 1.