5 Things Black Parents Can Do To Survive DeVos

As you may know by now, Betsy DeVos has been confirmed as the newly appointed Secretary of Education and if you're a parent... its time to get down to business. In a nutshell, this woman is a billionaire who believes that the education system in America is the perfect domain for expanding "God's Kingdom". She and her family have used their wealth to donate millions upon millions of dollars to the republicans over the years and views her nomination for secretary of education as a reward for her previous "generosity". DeVos pretty much knows nothing about education and has never really done any... well, educating. Simply put, if she has her way the children of this country will be simple-minded, docile, little lambs who don't question authority and regurgitate religious fodder to justify climate-change, social issues and anything else where telling the truth would be more arduous. This should be alarming for all parents but totally frightening for the parents of black children. Think of the precious ground that we are just now making up as a people, especially when it comes to de-programming and un-learning the bullshit that the American school system has fed to our children over the years. Under Betsy DeVos you can most likely expect your black child to be learning that slaves were immigrants, Native Americans wanted to share their land, praying the gay away is a must, Queen Cleopatra really did look like Elizabeth Taylor and that there is no such thing as global warming " ice melts, that is just what it does".

There are five key things that can be done to counter this upcoming scholastic shitstorm and they go a little something like this:

1. Be Vigilant:
At a time like this, you should literally be at the table with your black children as much as possible while they're studying, completing assignments and doing homework. If you see a question, statement or assignment that you take issue with, write the teacher an e-mail or attach a note to the assignment stating your grievance about the prospective problematic elements of the coursework. For example, if you see your kids doing a fucking slavery math problem, don't roll your eyes and continue watching Love and Hip Hop New York. Go down to the school and raise some hell about it. Every once in a while ( once a week) you should be skimming through your children's textbooks and countering anything that seems inaccurate. For example, if a textbook is telling your children that " African Americans first came to the United States on the Soul Train Cruise Liner in 1923 sipping red Koolaid and humming hymns" I'm gonna need for you to challenge that shit and tell your kids the truth. When they try to indoctrinate your little ones with messages of " peaceful protest" and "patriotism" it is vital that you give them the realistic pros and cons of such rhetoric and relay the real challenges that African Americans face that often exclude us from indulging in such pleasantries.

2. Seriously Consider Homeschooling your child:

This is not for the lazy parent. You know the type. " Why is my child flunking the fourth grade, Mrs. Green you ain't shit" type of parents need not try this. If your the accountable type with enough time to devote to homeschooling, this would be a great option for young black children. You can teach them that God is black and that based on scientific fact, the notion that HIV just arose magically and killed millions of Africans without human interference is something that is highly unlikely. After a certain amount of proficiency has been achieved it would be ideal to have your black child take the GED exam and enroll in a local community college. Your young kings and queens will be years ahead of their counterparts as well as mentally free! If homeschooling isn't conducive with your schedule, draft a serious curriculum of things you want your black child to know, that you can be certain won't be taught at school, devote several hours per weekend to this material and get it done.

3. Turn off the Motherfucking TV!

This should be absolutely obvious but there are plenty of parents who let the television babysit their kids. If they are watching television it should be something stimulating and conversation provoking. I rather you let your children watch The Wire and explain to them the crack era, the war on drugs and the poverty cycle as opposed to watching Empire any day. If they must watch music videos, show them reggae videos with positive messages or Afrobeat videos from Nigeria and Ghana ( they tend to show beautiful black women in positive scenarios and African wealth via stunting lol)

4. Turn off the Motherfucking Radio!

The radio, the auxiliary cord, the YouTube, whatever the hell your black child is ingesting they will be reflecting ( hey that rhymes a little bit) in their personality, demeanor and sentiments. Play your kids some Miles Davis, let them see footage of a live Funkadelic concert from 1978 and if you must let them listen to 2chainz explain to them what parts of the songs are lies ( tell them how he is like forty with a wife and children who don't even drink soda nonetheless take drugs and party with big booty bitches). When I was a kid my mother would let us watch music videos but she would explain to us ( in a non-preachy way) that the cars were rented, the cash was a prop, and even the vixens were paid to be there. Giving your children a sense of reality when it comes to entertainment is key to countering their belief in pop-culture. Your 12 year old is a Beyonce fan? Let her watch some of the behind the scenes footage of Beyonce working her ass off so she can know that copying her " diva" attitude won't get her that 400 million dollar net worth but that dedication and meticulousness will. 

5. Tell them the truth!

This is paramount. At all costs we must tell these black children the truth. No matter how badly you want to believe in a perfect and just world you have to equip your black child with the mindset that to be Black in America is to constantly have to compete. Don't let them quit the summer baseball team because its too hot at their games. Make them finish the season and spark accountability and endurance at an early age. Let them know that having a college degree will not be a panacea for all of life's troubles but being a rapper and listing "NFL player" as their backup is highly unlikely. Teach them the ins and outs of the stock market and that white men in suites have a huge impact on their lives. Let them know that there is a huge prison industry that will profit from their mishaps if they choose to go the wrong way. Whatever it is, tell them the truth. About McDonald's, Sandra Bland, drones, white America's heroin epidemic and why this orange little fucker is President now.